| Here's a stake for your heart. Ok, I get the message. |
[May. 11th, 2008|10:15 am] |
So, after I graciously agreed to let X send someone here to pick up the stuff, X and X's SA goon compadres invaded my Second Life RP and griefed everything up so bad that there is no longer any point in my characters continuing.
I found Second Life to be brimming over with nice people, young people in search of an idealistic dream of love, handicapped people seeking an illusion of life beyond their sometimes extreme physical imperfections. People constantly in need of kindness and the counseling of a good friend.
I experimented with bringing Spectral Shadows characters to life in this environment, and to my surprise, everywhere they went nice people not only friended them, but glommed onto them. And what had started as a simple experiment turned into a true second life.
Unfortunately, when X learned I was doing this, X was totally pissed off that I would be doing any kind of RPing other than something X was involved with. So, like the idiot I am, I gave X the keys to Second Life and invited X to share in my big adventure, promising that I would create a character that X could RP a Victorian fantasy with - in effect bringing X's novel to life as well.
Silly me had forgotten or dismissed the devastation of all my LJ projects, blaming other people, ever giving X the benefit of the doubt that X was not an active saboteur. Though, looking back, it should have been pretty hard to miss. To X, anything that made me happy was something to be jealous of and destroyed in hopes of forcing me into sharing whatever X was doing at the moment, even though X has been into very little in recent years that was of even the slightest interest to me.
Given the speed with which things fell apart, it's pretty obvious that X didn't come to Second Life with any intention of RPing a Victorian scenario with me. X hadn't even given me time to create the character I'd promised before X started setting me up, gathering material X and X's friends could use against my characters in their griefing spree.
I don't know what was wrong with me all these years I've been with X that I was totally blind to what a despicable person X is. A character like X I could never imagine on my own. I absolutely must use this experience to inspire a character in my saga. Perhaps finally I will be able to create a completely unattractive character that I won't be tempted to redeem in some fashion.
If there is a moral to the saga of me and X, it's never let your idealism blind you into being kind to people who think hurting others is a fun pastime. X is a goon, a troll, a griefer - someone who enjoys trampling the dreams of other people under foot. Even the dreams of those closest to X. X is a viper who has repaid years of kindness and tolerance beyond reason by sucking my heart out, chewing it up and spitting it back at me. X sucked up and horded all the kindness I had that I could have been spreading around to other people, and in the end left me in a state where I can't even be kind to myself.
Lately I been getting more E-mails from people who have found my stories on the net and are just falling all over themselves to tell me what a good writer I am and how much they want my saga to continue. I don't have the heart to write back and tell them what the griefing of X and X's friends has done to my mind, or even to estimate how long it may take me to get back into shape where I can write again. But I have to do it eventually. I've got to rebuild my life, if just to spite X and everyone else of that ilk who have done their best to drag me down.
Anyway, X is not getting any of the previously mentioned stuff from me. Goodwill is getting it all. Or. maybe I'll offer some of the items up for sale here on my journal, or trade them for art, or just give them away to good friends that I think are more deserving of them.
I may end up unloading some other stuff as well, depending on how tainted I find my Mega Man and My Little Pony stuff to be from having shared it with X. Then again, looking up at the video shelves above my computer, I don’t feel a lot of disaffection for anything I see there. In fact, I might even be inclined to dust off my anime collection.
What is this? Could it be that X’s poison yaoi soaked fangs in my back was what had killed my enthusiasm for anime. Geez, now that I think about it, X even came between me and Rusty (My former partner in the anime business.) Rusty sure never had any trouble seeing X for what X really was.
I wonder if maybe this is a good thing. My heart may be chewed up, but at least I’ve got it back. And it may heal so fast it’ll make X’s head spin. Interesting. Maybe my dreams aren’t dead after all. Maybe this is where the real adventure begins. |
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![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/62735917/10837786) | From: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) mefurry
2008-05-12 11:33 pm (UTC)
What can I say? | (Link)
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But "hugs". True and sincere hugs, dear furiend!
--Me/Henry | |
enraged